


A Single Stained Hibiscus

by Jasker



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 08:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17597528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jasker/pseuds/Jasker
Summary: A short fic about Jasper's feelings a few days after the events of Change Your Mind, but before she'd had anything explained to her. A little bit of Jaspearl fluff, of course.





	A Single Stained Hibiscus

One foot fell against the ground at a time, sharp gold eyes fixed forward on her path. Her muscles burned and salty ocean air filled her lungs as she ran, hard and fast. Jasper was _herself_ again. 

She hadn’t been corrupted for long, but the hazy, feverish memories of it plagued her mind and kept her anxious. Green poison had spread across her skin and burned like acid, piercing thorns stole her sight, her bones cracked and twisted and forced her onto all fours like an animal. She had screamed, whether out of terror or rage she wasn’t sure, and then everything went dark. Suspended in nothingness, unmoving and unfeeling, time had passed her by as she rested quiescent. Until suddenly she wasn’t, and her light had burst forth into a familiar shape once more. 

So she ran now with a body that was hers again, upright and strong, her hair pulled up off the sweaty skin of her back in a ponytail like Amethyst had taught her. She ran with her boots off so she could feel the sand between her toes and kicked up her calves, to be certain she ran with legs she knew. She ran from joy and relief that she was herself again, but also from fear that it might be a dream, that she might wake up in that wretched form again. 

Spots of corruption still stained her skin, but they did not burn like before. Two spikes jutted from her head, but she kept her eyes. None of it was painful, but they made her feel repulsive, disfigured, ashamed. Jasper always knew she was wrong on the inside, but she’d buried those flaws deep down and made sure no one saw them. But these new marks, she couldn’t hide. Her failures and defects were branded on her in a vivid sea-green that came not from the color of her gem, but from something else within her. Something off-color. 

Her foot hit the ground again, but this time a sharp pain sliced through her foot and she toppled face-first into the sand with a yelp. She flipped over, sat up cross legged, and rested the hurt foot on her opposite thigh to investigate the damage. There was no blood, but a tiny rock had jammed into her foot and gotten stuck. Anger boiled up inside as sand gritted between Jasper’s teeth, clung to her skin, and settled in her hair, uncomfortable and dirty. This wasn’t supposed to be her life, this wasn’t what was supposed to have happened. 

Head tilted to the sky and fangs bared, Jasper yelled with every ounce of her pent up frustration. _“Fuck!”_

She flicked the rock off her foot and flopped onto her back with a huff. The sky was dark and Jasper’s eyes wandered across countless stars and constellations above her. They were woven from galaxies and solar systems she knew better than the sand beneath her, better than the very planet she was made from.

It felt like a cruel joke that just when she’d returned to Earth to get closure once and for all, the life she’d learned to accept was uprooted and torn from her again. She’d accepted that she was the byproduct of a failure, that she always had to be better to make up for that, that the suffering she endured was necessary and made her what she was supposed to be. 

But then suddenly it didn’t matter. It _wasn’t_ necessary. Now she was supposed to “be whoever she is”. Everything she’d fought for, everything she was and everything she became, none if it mattered. She was furious at the Diamonds, Homeworld, the Crystal Gems, herself, everyone and everything. Her worth was dependent on those guidelines, she’d shaped herself with the rules beaten into her by agates and superior quartzes for centuries. Who was she supposed to be when all of that didn’t matter? How could she be _anyone_ when she was never allowed to be before?

Jasper kicked her legs and drove her heels into the sand, ripped at her hair and clawed at her head. The horns she wasn’t used to jabbed into her palms and she let out a frustrated howl and slammed her fists into the ground. She felt ridiculous throwing the kind of tantrum expected of a five-day-old gem, not one well over five-thousand years old, but at the same time it felt good to wallow in her misery for once. 

Jasper’s breath got shaky, her face hot, her throat choked up. Tears started to prickle at her eyes, so she squeezed them shut tight. She’d stayed strong until then—from finding herself in Rose’s fountain surrounded by a shocking combination of gems, to a hasty “we’ll explain everything soon”, to the saccharine kindness the Crystal Gems were showing her out of nowhere. She couldn’t understand it. It was all wrong and opposite and no one had explained anything except that the Diamonds didn’t want her to fight and Rose Quartz was somehow gone and a half-human at the same time. 

A shuffling sound a few feet from Jasper snapped her back to reality, and she scrambled up and see who was there. When she opened her eyes, everything was blurry and the heavy tears that had welled up while she was laying down spilled down her cheeks. She scrubbed them away with the heel of her hand, grainy sand rough on her face.

“Oh… I’m sorry, I was- we were looking for you so we could all sit down together and explain everything.” It was Pearl. 

Jasper hunched forward, hands pressed to the ground, ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. She glared at Pearl and said nothing. The embarrassment of being caught having a fit on the beach by herself was bad enough, but getting caught _crying_ just made her want to crack. The splotchy uneven scars made her ugly enough, she didn’t need anyone to see her in an even uglier emotional state. 

It didn’t help that it was _Pearl_ of all of them. Pearl was clean, precise, observant, controlled. But that wasn’t what made Jasper uneasy. Jasper had heard the other gems talk about Pearl, she knew exactly which pearl she was and exactly what she was capable of. This pearl was a warrior that easily rivaled, if not surpassed Jasper’s strength. 

“Renegade,” she growled. 

Pearl looked taken aback. She knit her fingers together and stared at Jasper wide-eyed. “I- well it’s been a long time since anyone recognized me as that, but yes. I can assure you I’m not here to fight.” 

There was a stretch of silence as Pearl shifted awkwardly, as if she was trying to decide something. Jasper flinched and braced her hands behind her when Pearl took several quick steps closer. She did not attack however, just as she’d promised. Instead, she sat right in front of Jasper, her legs off to one side and hands folded in her lap. 

She was much shorter than Jasper now that she was sitting down with her, and much less threatening, too. Jasper had to tilt her head down to meet Pearl’s eyes. Pearl looked so small, fragile even. It was hard to believe she’d once vaporized the front line of a Diamond’s royal guard in seconds.

“You are…” Pearl started. She fidgeted and glanced around, avoiding Jasper’s gaze. “We are very alike, you and I. We lived and fought for what we believed in, what we loved, _who_ we loved… and we lost a lot, too. You even more than me in many ways. I wish I could have said something, but you’ll understand why I couldn’t very soon.”

She finally looked at Jasper again. Her eyes shined and there was a small smile at her lips. “I think you might actually understand me better than anyone else.”

Jasper didn’t see how they were alike at all. A loyal Homeworld soldier, one of Pink Diamond’s best quartzes, and Rose Quartz’s rebel pearl? She wanted to scoff at the idea, but Pearl drew her hand up to her gem and Jasper tensed, ready for anything. It glowed briefly, cast across their faces and danced across shimmering sand, and in its wake left something soft and pink. 

Pearl cradled it delicately in her hands, and Jasper realized what it was: a single hibiscus flower. Jasper was not familiar with most of Earth’s plant species, but she knew that one well. She was certain Pearl did, too. 

“Do you know what these flowers symbolize? They have several meanings, actually,” Pearl said. “Beauty and perfection...” She ran her thumb over two of the petals. “But also perseverance. They are known for having the strength to grow and even flourish in difficult environments. They always come back and bloom again.” 

Pearl rose to her knees, now eye level with Jasper, and leaned towards her. Jasper was frozen, unsure what was happening. Her heart thrummed against her ribs and she watched wide-eyed as Pearl’s empty hand reached for her face. 

Then, the softest touch to her cheek. Softer than any touch she’d ever known. Pearl brushed off some of the sand under her eye, then fussed with the hair by one of her horns. Jasper was uncomfortable with attention focused so close to one of her scars, but it made her feel something else too, something warm and funny inside. Pearl’s hands were gentle and kind, and Jasper was spellbound by them. The restlessness that had churned within her settled for the first time in days. She sat perfectly still so that it might continue. 

After a moment that felt far too short and like it had lasted forever, Pearl tucked the flower into the hair next the thorn on Jasper’s head and leaned back to sit on her heels. She tilted her head and rested her cheek in a hand with a smile. “It suits you.” 

Jasper’s face burned as she realized she had not only unthinkingly accepted this affection with no resistance, but that Pearl was relating all of the flower’s meanings to Jasper as well. She had a hundred reasons to disagree, but none would come to mind amidst the flurry of strange feelings that filled her heart. And deep down, she _wanted_ to believe it was true. 

Pearl stood and folded her hands behind her back. “Are you ready?” she asked. 

For some reason, Jasper felt like everything was going to end. As if the moment she got up and went with Pearl, she could never go back. She felt the feather-light touch of flower petals against her horn and the locks of hair that Pearl had tucked back just so. Maybe that was okay. Maybe there were gems that would make it okay. 

Jasper took a deep breath, stood up, and dusted herself off. 

“I’m ready.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you all enjoyed this quick little fic. I'm getting so much inspiration from the last big episode, and hopefully I'll have more writing to come! ♡


End file.
